I do not like writing these posts because they suck.
Yet again, I am faced with a very real situation with death, and this time it comes from a distance.
In these last few years I've lost two people close to me, one indirectly, and one very close.
When it is family you can never prepare for this eventuality.
Even when it is with tertiary things (mostly with distant entertainment) that leaves a residual scar as the things that pass time effortlessly along and to have a dependency on their creativity to help our journey are now gone.
I've never liked having to pay tributes to people, because I believe life is tribute to the fact we are still here, kicking ass, doing our thing.
But here I feel so heartbroken, in essence I had to step back for a bit to catch my thoughts.
Death in any form is a process of life.
This is the just way it goes when we are living, its that eventuality that we keep that at bay while trying out new avenues, new adventures, new friendships, starting families, and other distractions to keep this reality at bay.
I've had this truth imbued in me since I was a young lad.
I think we try to forget about this finality and hope that everything will work out.
Sometimes that doesn't always happen.
Instead we all cope with the loss, some more dramatic, others very subtlety.
Nothing surprises me much anymore, but when something this pronounce happens, everyone stops and reflects on their journey with how one person or persons changed their course in life whether good or bad.
Outcomes are fluid, but nevertheless we all strive to achieve what we think is the best outcome to our journey.
Like my Dave Brockie post, Wayne Static is another piece of my growth who is now gone, all to soon.
I am beside myself at this point.
The very things that helped me, are going away, and there is nothing I can do to reverse the course.
Music is my life.
In every capacity.
It has helped me with my diagnosis.
In very strange way music became my surrogate family when my own family chose the path they went on.
I went in a different direction absorbing everything the world could throw at me.
Along the way there have been bumps and bruises.
Yet I've always lived an honest life.
It maybe time to evaluate what music means again, but this time to be impartial, and to dissect the nuances of intent, because I am seeing more and more of this as I've grown older in my observations.
From now on I chose to impart my life's story to people.
That every step we take inches us closer to the final frontier.
It is here that I say thanks to those who've traversed this blog.
Though nameless, at least some of you thought what I do means something.
Lets celebrate the life we live.
No more living under fear.
Don't keep it inside.
Say what you mean, mean what you say, but do not be mean. Thanks for reading.
B.
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