Why the long quiet year?
Last year I written a few blog posts with the hopes of moving into a platform that would garner wider exposure. Through the creation of a new character, website, and social experiment, this did not reap solid benefits. Partly because of my own challenges unfolding in my life.
It was also a year of great turmoil and conflict. I was dealing with changes that did damage to my reputation. To be seen as someone different than my true character unnerved me, upset me, and ultimately paused creative output, except for a few tidbits of musings along the way.
Last year I vented. I unleashed. Everything that went against my character received a response. I was tired of watching something crash and burn. To be told that its my lack of 'fitting' in, or having to change my core values to 'fit' their system. These are the lies these people continue to tell me in order to make themselves look important, rather than be accepting. Because I am a heavy introvert, this caused so many problems with the extrovert dominated system, that this sabotaged my ability to continue working in a field I had built years of service into, only to see it wither, crash, and splinter into a most rankly horrid carcass.
The causality was my first passion: creativity. This has been my muse, and a albatross that hangs me in obscurity. Being a brand, marketing, focusing on a core message that resonates is something I don't have a problem doing, but I also lack the formidable exposure that dooms my many enterprises: solid and consistent networking. Being a grunt for someone else does not appeal to me, yet that was harpooned due to circumstances of residence, and other factors I had no control over.
Anything I've felt needed to be written about, was approached by my writ, accompanied by perception, honesty, and value. Sometimes not always sharing the same vision around me, nevertheless I am proud of writing, sharing while also lamenting along the way.
Last year I was in reflective mode, questioning why bother doing anything. Slipping into another depression state, nothing I could do worked. Whether it was personal or professional the people I thought were my most trusted circle ended up deserting me. It was to put it plainly a year where what I thought was important didn't work, and what I wanted was not shared. Me versus the collective, two very different aspects that frustrated and still linger today.
Professional colleagues I admired and trusted bailed, a company I worked for dismissed me, mental health, and all that comes with it collapsed. Throughout all of the upheaval my psyche tried to hold onto to any semblance of balance. It was put bluntly a year of watching others be socially awkward around me, professionally disjointed, and colleague usurped events I had no control over.
This does many things to a persons psyche, this hemorrhaged an already brittle professional allegiances, this also reintroduced depression on a scale never experienced before. I still haven't recovered from what I lost in 2015, as it took something I hold very true to my core being: and that was drive, trust, and persistence.
I will continue to live with the merits of honor, integrity, and being genuine. Everything I worked towards from 2008-2012 still means more to me, than these last four years of agonizingly brutal and disruptive changes that have gone on around me.
The biggest misconception about my character is fitting in. I can do this well enough, but I agonize about merits and feeling like what I am doing means something. If anything I've hit a wall, and I am stuck without a way to figure it out, or maneuver through the minutia.
So, I went through self-imposed isolation, making notes along the way. The very notion of being yourself in a extroverted dominated society, plays havoc on reciprocity, as it impregnates this systemic callousness, brought out by inharmonious allegiances. I make no apology to this fact, I will not bow before anyone or anything. Speak to me, not at me, I don't listen to bullies.
Another concern is a lack of connection, with the exponential rise of smartphone usage, the impersonal revolution i.e. email/texting is defacto standard. The message and point is always elusive, making it very difficult to maneuver at this stage of my limited rebirth of a career.
I'm not asking for a pity party, I really don't care what happens now. The fact I did what I could on my own terms, the result left me little bitter. I don't care anymore. Whatever was, is now a wasteland of imperfection and diode sized apathetic nuisance created by yes-men assholes who bully, dominate, and strangle introverts with ironclad indifference. There is no way to bargain with this. There will be no way to win in this arena.
Ultimately, I have to decide if trying to find a way to live with my obvious limitations, plus having a social stigma follow me is worth the hassle, aggravation, because what it has done to me is made me look at how utterly broken, and corrupted the system is. Because as I've learned having a disability doesn't give me any leeway to function as a normal productive citizen,
Thanks for reading.
B
Sunday, July 31, 2016
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Suicidal Tendencies - An Evolution
Suicidal Tendencies - An Evolution
My introduction with Suicidal Tendencies began in the early 90s. I was partially aware of some of the skate and punk movements, but I wasn't as interested as most of my peers. I remember the ethos of style, attitude, and locality. Many of the skate bands came from the Southern California coastal areas, which shaped a lot of the underground scene (at that time).
A lot of the attitude relied on surf culture, but also a urban aspect that carried over to the suburban lifestyle. This is my understanding of the birth of that style.I feel its been young persons interest, as I haven't kept up as youthful angst doesn't fit a forty year old mindset.
Of the entire Suicidal Tendencies era, I lean more toward the self titled record. Following all the way through until their last with the major label Epic records: Suicidal For Life in 1994. What the group produced in the later half of the 90's I was aware of, some of it was okay, I didn't connect with any of it.
The first S.T. record I could relate because of the angst, hormones, and frustrations with finding an identity in a world with so many contradictions. This splintered outwards at my awkwardness, and those songs in that world to me felt more allegorical, and spoke more closely to my predilections.
Each record up til Suicidal For Life had a kind of evolution. I postulate that they moved from a garage Do It Yourself (DIY) hardcore/crossover mechanic (indie), eventually morphing and settling into an extremely well polished and heavily produced studio machine.
I got the brief opportunity to seeing Suicidal Tendencies play during their The Art of Rebellion jaunt with Megadeth with the Headbangers Ball tour in 1992. A critical issue/fault I had was frontman Mike Muir was barely audible, and in a live setting tended to be drowned out by the overpowered amps, drums, and bass.
Plus Mike's definitely can be a bit redundant with bravado, as he preached at that time (i.e. material off of Controlled By Hatred, Lights, Camera, Revolution, and The Art of Rebellion). The musicianship was always the focal point, and I couldn't fault their performance based on Mike's hard to decipher vocals.
The band could play their asses off, yet I think they were a studio band and I may have been a tad too late to their brand (shtick). I think if I had lived in the Venice Beach area and seen this band starting out, it wouldn't have felt like a strange experience.
Studious pieces of this band I liked were the guitar tones of Mike Clark, and Rocky George. bassists Louiche Mayorga, and Robert Trujillo. These gents stood out to me as they really gave their style and sound around the ethos of the band.
Many drummers have come and gone, but I can distinctly tell which record is from which era. The production is very much in line with the times it was created (80's raw, higher treble mixed, early 90's more bass driven, drum snare pops).
One guitarist that I think stood out for them was Rocky George. His time with Suicidal Tendencies brought soul to the wild noodle fest that permeated so much of the crossover style. His work with Join The Army and until Suicidal For Life have tone that punch which stands out.
Rocky's style (I believe) has this tendency of elongating notes and feeling out the performance which stood out to me, I still feel he accentuates Mike Clark's playing, and they feed off each other with a push pull component, kind of like a mechanical gear. After 1994's Suicidal For Life he dropped off the face of the Earth for awhile. It wasn't until the late 2000's I found out he was in Fishbone, and to me that is super cool. I will also say he is a hard gentleman to talk to.
Their older material levied an informative component to it. Though Suicidal Tendencies are still around, being on either a fourth or fifth incarnation, and with a different line ups, they still pack them in outside of the U.S.
The way we look at bands and how they evolve is a testament in how we ourselves develop over the duration of those careers. Because I can be a brutally honest with assessing the overall complexion, this band was another solid beacon for me in troubled times.
Though time and distance have elongated from when they were fresh, and distinctly off center. With Mike's blatant street macho aspect, they were something to take notice in a field of flooded sameness. It was nice to marvel in they're individualism, but that comparison I think ends where the words are concerned. I feel much different about their message now, in that there are gems sprinkled about, but by no means is their work perfect.
Reflective at looking at this band, what it represented is that still underground exposure, as validates what I was thinking about a lot at that time. It has bludgeoned me with a sense of loss, as the passage of time has hit, the realities of capturing lighting in a bottle. These seemed to have a direct effect on my outlook on the band. Thanks for reading.
Up next Infectious Grooves.
B.
My introduction with Suicidal Tendencies began in the early 90s. I was partially aware of some of the skate and punk movements, but I wasn't as interested as most of my peers. I remember the ethos of style, attitude, and locality. Many of the skate bands came from the Southern California coastal areas, which shaped a lot of the underground scene (at that time).
A lot of the attitude relied on surf culture, but also a urban aspect that carried over to the suburban lifestyle. This is my understanding of the birth of that style.I feel its been young persons interest, as I haven't kept up as youthful angst doesn't fit a forty year old mindset.
Of the entire Suicidal Tendencies era, I lean more toward the self titled record. Following all the way through until their last with the major label Epic records: Suicidal For Life in 1994. What the group produced in the later half of the 90's I was aware of, some of it was okay, I didn't connect with any of it.
The first S.T. record I could relate because of the angst, hormones, and frustrations with finding an identity in a world with so many contradictions. This splintered outwards at my awkwardness, and those songs in that world to me felt more allegorical, and spoke more closely to my predilections.
Each record up til Suicidal For Life had a kind of evolution. I postulate that they moved from a garage Do It Yourself (DIY) hardcore/crossover mechanic (indie), eventually morphing and settling into an extremely well polished and heavily produced studio machine.
I got the brief opportunity to seeing Suicidal Tendencies play during their The Art of Rebellion jaunt with Megadeth with the Headbangers Ball tour in 1992. A critical issue/fault I had was frontman Mike Muir was barely audible, and in a live setting tended to be drowned out by the overpowered amps, drums, and bass.
Plus Mike's definitely can be a bit redundant with bravado, as he preached at that time (i.e. material off of Controlled By Hatred, Lights, Camera, Revolution, and The Art of Rebellion). The musicianship was always the focal point, and I couldn't fault their performance based on Mike's hard to decipher vocals.
The band could play their asses off, yet I think they were a studio band and I may have been a tad too late to their brand (shtick). I think if I had lived in the Venice Beach area and seen this band starting out, it wouldn't have felt like a strange experience.
Studious pieces of this band I liked were the guitar tones of Mike Clark, and Rocky George. bassists Louiche Mayorga, and Robert Trujillo. These gents stood out to me as they really gave their style and sound around the ethos of the band.
Many drummers have come and gone, but I can distinctly tell which record is from which era. The production is very much in line with the times it was created (80's raw, higher treble mixed, early 90's more bass driven, drum snare pops).
One guitarist that I think stood out for them was Rocky George. His time with Suicidal Tendencies brought soul to the wild noodle fest that permeated so much of the crossover style. His work with Join The Army and until Suicidal For Life have tone that punch which stands out.
Rocky's style (I believe) has this tendency of elongating notes and feeling out the performance which stood out to me, I still feel he accentuates Mike Clark's playing, and they feed off each other with a push pull component, kind of like a mechanical gear. After 1994's Suicidal For Life he dropped off the face of the Earth for awhile. It wasn't until the late 2000's I found out he was in Fishbone, and to me that is super cool. I will also say he is a hard gentleman to talk to.
Their older material levied an informative component to it. Though Suicidal Tendencies are still around, being on either a fourth or fifth incarnation, and with a different line ups, they still pack them in outside of the U.S.
The way we look at bands and how they evolve is a testament in how we ourselves develop over the duration of those careers. Because I can be a brutally honest with assessing the overall complexion, this band was another solid beacon for me in troubled times.
Though time and distance have elongated from when they were fresh, and distinctly off center. With Mike's blatant street macho aspect, they were something to take notice in a field of flooded sameness. It was nice to marvel in they're individualism, but that comparison I think ends where the words are concerned. I feel much different about their message now, in that there are gems sprinkled about, but by no means is their work perfect.
Reflective at looking at this band, what it represented is that still underground exposure, as validates what I was thinking about a lot at that time. It has bludgeoned me with a sense of loss, as the passage of time has hit, the realities of capturing lighting in a bottle. These seemed to have a direct effect on my outlook on the band. Thanks for reading.
Up next Infectious Grooves.
B.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Evaluation & Reflection (Wayne's Gone)
I do not like writing these posts because they suck.
Yet again, I am faced with a very real situation with death, and this time it comes from a distance.
In these last few years I've lost two people close to me, one indirectly, and one very close.
When it is family you can never prepare for this eventuality.
Even when it is with tertiary things (mostly with distant entertainment) that leaves a residual scar as the things that pass time effortlessly along and to have a dependency on their creativity to help our journey are now gone.
I've never liked having to pay tributes to people, because I believe life is tribute to the fact we are still here, kicking ass, doing our thing.
But here I feel so heartbroken, in essence I had to step back for a bit to catch my thoughts.
Death in any form is a process of life.
This is the just way it goes when we are living, its that eventuality that we keep that at bay while trying out new avenues, new adventures, new friendships, starting families, and other distractions to keep this reality at bay.
I've had this truth imbued in me since I was a young lad.
I think we try to forget about this finality and hope that everything will work out.
Sometimes that doesn't always happen.
Instead we all cope with the loss, some more dramatic, others very subtlety.
Nothing surprises me much anymore, but when something this pronounce happens, everyone stops and reflects on their journey with how one person or persons changed their course in life whether good or bad.
Outcomes are fluid, but nevertheless we all strive to achieve what we think is the best outcome to our journey.
Like my Dave Brockie post, Wayne Static is another piece of my growth who is now gone, all to soon.
I am beside myself at this point.
The very things that helped me, are going away, and there is nothing I can do to reverse the course.
Music is my life.
In every capacity.
It has helped me with my diagnosis.
In very strange way music became my surrogate family when my own family chose the path they went on.
I went in a different direction absorbing everything the world could throw at me.
Along the way there have been bumps and bruises.
Yet I've always lived an honest life.
It maybe time to evaluate what music means again, but this time to be impartial, and to dissect the nuances of intent, because I am seeing more and more of this as I've grown older in my observations.
From now on I chose to impart my life's story to people.
That every step we take inches us closer to the final frontier.
It is here that I say thanks to those who've traversed this blog.
Though nameless, at least some of you thought what I do means something.
Lets celebrate the life we live.
No more living under fear.
Don't keep it inside.
Say what you mean, mean what you say, but do not be mean. Thanks for reading.
B.
Yet again, I am faced with a very real situation with death, and this time it comes from a distance.
In these last few years I've lost two people close to me, one indirectly, and one very close.
When it is family you can never prepare for this eventuality.
Even when it is with tertiary things (mostly with distant entertainment) that leaves a residual scar as the things that pass time effortlessly along and to have a dependency on their creativity to help our journey are now gone.
I've never liked having to pay tributes to people, because I believe life is tribute to the fact we are still here, kicking ass, doing our thing.
But here I feel so heartbroken, in essence I had to step back for a bit to catch my thoughts.
Death in any form is a process of life.
This is the just way it goes when we are living, its that eventuality that we keep that at bay while trying out new avenues, new adventures, new friendships, starting families, and other distractions to keep this reality at bay.
I've had this truth imbued in me since I was a young lad.
I think we try to forget about this finality and hope that everything will work out.
Sometimes that doesn't always happen.
Instead we all cope with the loss, some more dramatic, others very subtlety.
Nothing surprises me much anymore, but when something this pronounce happens, everyone stops and reflects on their journey with how one person or persons changed their course in life whether good or bad.
Outcomes are fluid, but nevertheless we all strive to achieve what we think is the best outcome to our journey.
Like my Dave Brockie post, Wayne Static is another piece of my growth who is now gone, all to soon.
I am beside myself at this point.
The very things that helped me, are going away, and there is nothing I can do to reverse the course.
Music is my life.
In every capacity.
It has helped me with my diagnosis.
In very strange way music became my surrogate family when my own family chose the path they went on.
I went in a different direction absorbing everything the world could throw at me.
Along the way there have been bumps and bruises.
Yet I've always lived an honest life.
It maybe time to evaluate what music means again, but this time to be impartial, and to dissect the nuances of intent, because I am seeing more and more of this as I've grown older in my observations.
From now on I chose to impart my life's story to people.
That every step we take inches us closer to the final frontier.
It is here that I say thanks to those who've traversed this blog.
Though nameless, at least some of you thought what I do means something.
Lets celebrate the life we live.
No more living under fear.
Don't keep it inside.
Say what you mean, mean what you say, but do not be mean. Thanks for reading.
B.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Technology Tribulations (Introduction To Servers)
Note I'm still learning the the arena of servers, and network administration so take this into consideration whilst I write my experiences here.
Since I've been in the enterprise world I've only had the opportunity recently to delve into servers. At first I felt intimidated, and a tad overwhelmed.
Most of what I learned about AD(Active Directory), Domain Controllers with my nascent but brief touch of Server (2003), and being thrown into the lava pit with Server 2008 is how they function with the network. My initial time with a unnamed company didn't have the right recourse to setup the proper server, so I was tasked with modifying the server to fit a much more secure format.
Each of these systems (at first) seemed pretty straightforward. Only if you understand how Tree's and Forests work. Since my time with Linux definitely prepared me, yet I'm still learning the ins and outs, but there are lots of little things to consider with servers.
What can a server do? Why are there so many variations of servers out there? First question tends to be the most obvious in that servers do a lot of little things behind the scenes, pretty much servers are the network backbone of the entire internet (if we want to use that term). The second question is more specific about flavor, what a server is typically used for. There again is the networking component, you could use it as a file server, you can setup a domain controller, you could use it as developer box, there are many considerations to think about with what a server can do for business and an average home user.
I have learned servers are a central point for application use, networking, (some) endpoint protection, development, virtualization, cloud hosting, heck this list can continue on and on.
The other aspect of servers is the robustness, yet there are rules in which to understand the functioning aspect of a server. One doesn't need to figure out that a single mistake can totally botch an entire setup, and/or network connection. (I have done this by accident) All it takes is that proverbial oops, and that is the last thing one wants to hear if your a systems admin.
In the last year I've had some time to acclimate (as it were) to Server 2012. I've been working through two pieces, the Domain Controller (AD, and Powershell). Two specific things that I think make what an IT person does more efficient at management.
I must stress that Server 2012 is different. It is a paradigm shift. Going away from the typical point and click GUI of prior versions, there is this extra step that can overwhelm.
It is powerful, there really neat things with virtualization aspect, I didn't get into the Azure yet, cloud service, and program development, but for what I want it is only ever going to be a basic box with admin rights (more or less).
Making the seamless transition to automation makes sense especially if there are a lot of networked computers, but...they have to share a common connection for automation, Windows 8 Pro or Enterprise, and I learned later that through Windows there is an option for access granting without the need to be connected to a domain per say.
Microsoft is in the business of software as a service at this point, so having a understanding of Exchange aspect helps, I'm also learning this too, which at on first experience was completely confusing.
So I decided to jump in on the server thing, and tried out a couple options. CentOS, Debian, and Windows Server 2012. Having something I can build my own cloud/storage/DLNA box makes more sense as the climate of pay as you go doesn't appeal to me.Yes there is the big cost, upgrades and whatnot but, I like the control I have with information I own.
I think more people should consider this as the option to not give various cloud streaming cartels any continued support. Only real concern I have is ISP monopoly. That will change (I hope) as I'm looking forward to fiber. I desperately want it but it is hard to get here in the area.
As I delve further into the server field I'll write my experiences here. Thanks for reading.
B.
Since I've been in the enterprise world I've only had the opportunity recently to delve into servers. At first I felt intimidated, and a tad overwhelmed.
Most of what I learned about AD(Active Directory), Domain Controllers with my nascent but brief touch of Server (2003), and being thrown into the lava pit with Server 2008 is how they function with the network. My initial time with a unnamed company didn't have the right recourse to setup the proper server, so I was tasked with modifying the server to fit a much more secure format.
Each of these systems (at first) seemed pretty straightforward. Only if you understand how Tree's and Forests work. Since my time with Linux definitely prepared me, yet I'm still learning the ins and outs, but there are lots of little things to consider with servers.
What can a server do? Why are there so many variations of servers out there? First question tends to be the most obvious in that servers do a lot of little things behind the scenes, pretty much servers are the network backbone of the entire internet (if we want to use that term). The second question is more specific about flavor, what a server is typically used for. There again is the networking component, you could use it as a file server, you can setup a domain controller, you could use it as developer box, there are many considerations to think about with what a server can do for business and an average home user.
I have learned servers are a central point for application use, networking, (some) endpoint protection, development, virtualization, cloud hosting, heck this list can continue on and on.
The other aspect of servers is the robustness, yet there are rules in which to understand the functioning aspect of a server. One doesn't need to figure out that a single mistake can totally botch an entire setup, and/or network connection. (I have done this by accident) All it takes is that proverbial oops, and that is the last thing one wants to hear if your a systems admin.
In the last year I've had some time to acclimate (as it were) to Server 2012. I've been working through two pieces, the Domain Controller (AD, and Powershell). Two specific things that I think make what an IT person does more efficient at management.
I must stress that Server 2012 is different. It is a paradigm shift. Going away from the typical point and click GUI of prior versions, there is this extra step that can overwhelm.
It is powerful, there really neat things with virtualization aspect, I didn't get into the Azure yet, cloud service, and program development, but for what I want it is only ever going to be a basic box with admin rights (more or less).
Making the seamless transition to automation makes sense especially if there are a lot of networked computers, but...they have to share a common connection for automation, Windows 8 Pro or Enterprise, and I learned later that through Windows there is an option for access granting without the need to be connected to a domain per say.
Microsoft is in the business of software as a service at this point, so having a understanding of Exchange aspect helps, I'm also learning this too, which at on first experience was completely confusing.
So I decided to jump in on the server thing, and tried out a couple options. CentOS, Debian, and Windows Server 2012. Having something I can build my own cloud/storage/DLNA box makes more sense as the climate of pay as you go doesn't appeal to me.Yes there is the big cost, upgrades and whatnot but, I like the control I have with information I own.
I think more people should consider this as the option to not give various cloud streaming cartels any continued support. Only real concern I have is ISP monopoly. That will change (I hope) as I'm looking forward to fiber. I desperately want it but it is hard to get here in the area.
As I delve further into the server field I'll write my experiences here. Thanks for reading.
B.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Dream Theater - Falling Into Infinity (90's Era)
By the m 90's a lot of what I was familiarized with had changed considerably from what was.
Electing to find the most extreme thing out there (at that time was difficult), I had to settle on what was available.
I had picked up Awake many years prior, and though there was some curiousness to the material I had this extreme snobbish view with accepting it.
My thought process at that time were these songs were too long, or there was so much tempo wankery with exposition that I was turned off by it.
Three years later I come back to Dream Theater and while I was thinking this was going to be a similar experience, it was not even close.
There is a different vibe with Falling Into Infinity. Yes there is the blatant overdose of wankery happening, but there is a very clear cut classic rock vibe oozing forth.
I distinctly remember thinking after listening to this record that there was a profound look at our lives, the politics of age, alliance, starting families, friendships, circumstances changing etc.
One music guest that stood out was Dug Pinnick and this peaked my curiosity. I had also read there was a collaboration with Napalm Death with a reworked version Metallica's The Thing That Should Not Be also peaked my interest.
Though Infinity does stay comfortably in trying to be popular, there wasn't the wide acceptance. This record was a one off experiment and the band would return to they're signature sound on Scenes from a Memory.
You Not Me, New Milenium, Lines in the Sand, and Trial Of Tears evoke something deeply reflective. The shrift of feeling is modulated with Derrick Sherininan's keyboard touch. I prefer this record over many of the newer ones because of the wink and nod to the classic rock foundation of old long play LP's.
I do think the album kind of overstays it's welcome, as I think they tried to keep pushing on the progressive mantel. This record came out during another sizable shift in what was popular. Alternative was in it's full swing, pushing a lot of metal, and this material outside of that circle.
It's an adaquate record I come back to, not that frequent in my rotation of things to listen to, but I am aware of its existence. Thanks for reading.
B.
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Technology Tribulations: Home Server/Streaming
As I've been accustomed to in the last while with all the smartphone proliferation, young people prefer to stream content rather than have a dedicated device which stores for quick retrieval.
Since the value of entertainment by all accounts has plummeted in cost, as return on investment has become a lose lose scenario, most of the cartels (RIAA, MPAA, and other governing bodies) have seen fit to institute a highway robbery scheme to force everyone to pay to play.
Since I refuse to play into those rules, I decided to build my own specific system, and to build on streaming artists I enjoy. This made more sense to tackle in this way than paying out the nose for it. A lot of the field now wants many users to pay into a cloud structure, a distant aspect, where I like and prefer the ability to control the content I own.
One weekend had me trying three avenues. First FreeNas, it's a nice little packaged OS that works on both a USB stick or on a physical disc (Compact or DVD). The downside is that FreeNas must never be installed on a physical hard drive. (Loses points right there).
Second was the installation of a trial evaluation of Server 2012, which at first has some interesting elements but I ran into the dreaded lack of network drivers. Somehow the OS itself had the network drivers completely negated, realizing this I wasn't going to sweat any of those details. I moved back to FreeNas.
A little bit about my first experiences with FreeNas, though there are some nice elements of the web GUI, the real fact here is that there is a lot digging, and planning that has to be done before using this in a full time aspect.
For many home users, this is a poorman's band aid server option for streaming and storing anything on old hardware. But for big time enterprise cost cutting companies the operational side of things this could be very useful for cost benefit if there is hardware that supports this design, I've been building two Tyan motherboards with a onboard USB connection I think will work perfectly with this.
Next up, the way the functioning is with FreeNas, built on top of the FreeBSD kernel, this wasn't entirely difficult, until I ran into something unforgivable. Router issues. The IP address scheme should pull all devices on the network (in theory), but with this install, which happened three times, each with different results. Default password issues, network scheme problems, and finally assigning the right server address bugged out the network, which resulted in a hard reboot.
Perhaps it is my overzealous approach which brings up the question, if these software OS's kits are supposed to work right out of the box, why am I getting weird shit? I was in mad scramble trying to trace back strange behavior, software glitch issues with the home network, all with odd results that shouldn't happen.
I went back to the drawing board for a optimal aspect for home streaming to attached devices. In my third attempt I tried the CentOS option, but I am not holding out any hope here as open source of late has been a tad unreliable, and seriously buggy with zero day patch updates, hence the often retorted comment: perma-stage alpha tester.
CentOS was a complete waste. Two versions, one a 6.4 Release and the brand new 7.0 didn't end well. 6.4 I almost had installed until the kernel decided to do a 360 and wouldn't boot after installing a kdump partition for errors. Anything with Linux is notorious error's but nonetheless I trudged onwards. When 6.4 couldn't hang, I bounced to 7.0, and that was a complete fail. I didn't even get to the install section before problems occurred. So it was back to the drawing board.
After doing some research I proposed a hypothesis, and that only specific types of server OS'es could run on a small server without error. Unfortunately, I wasn't going to do anything with Ubuntu as my history with that distro was less than stellar, so it was decided to take another crack at the Windows server install. This time though I would take a different tact and figure out how to get it to work right. I end up trying Essentials, as its a no frills basic OS, with options for updatability if I so choose. Otherwise the process took less than a half hour. I was up and setting up the server.
My experience with this server will prove very useful for my future as I get acclimated to the next paradigm. As for Linux, as much I love it, I do not think it will ever have the dedicated desktop construction that other more prominent OS's have. It just does not work in the way it should, as people are constantly tweaking, revising, as there is this aura of a ever present alpha stage to a lot of it.
I cut my teeth on the Debian fork, not as prevalent now but going from that to Cygwin for minor programing aspects makes more sense at this stage. I am just tired of the bashing on all sides, if you like something then stick with what works, yes its true I was one of those haters, but now I see the other side, I see how each one can benefit. Its just a matter of personal taste.
Thanks for reading.
Since the value of entertainment by all accounts has plummeted in cost, as return on investment has become a lose lose scenario, most of the cartels (RIAA, MPAA, and other governing bodies) have seen fit to institute a highway robbery scheme to force everyone to pay to play.
Since I refuse to play into those rules, I decided to build my own specific system, and to build on streaming artists I enjoy. This made more sense to tackle in this way than paying out the nose for it. A lot of the field now wants many users to pay into a cloud structure, a distant aspect, where I like and prefer the ability to control the content I own.
One weekend had me trying three avenues. First FreeNas, it's a nice little packaged OS that works on both a USB stick or on a physical disc (Compact or DVD). The downside is that FreeNas must never be installed on a physical hard drive. (Loses points right there).
Second was the installation of a trial evaluation of Server 2012, which at first has some interesting elements but I ran into the dreaded lack of network drivers. Somehow the OS itself had the network drivers completely negated, realizing this I wasn't going to sweat any of those details. I moved back to FreeNas.
A little bit about my first experiences with FreeNas, though there are some nice elements of the web GUI, the real fact here is that there is a lot digging, and planning that has to be done before using this in a full time aspect.
For many home users, this is a poorman's band aid server option for streaming and storing anything on old hardware. But for big time enterprise cost cutting companies the operational side of things this could be very useful for cost benefit if there is hardware that supports this design, I've been building two Tyan motherboards with a onboard USB connection I think will work perfectly with this.
Next up, the way the functioning is with FreeNas, built on top of the FreeBSD kernel, this wasn't entirely difficult, until I ran into something unforgivable. Router issues. The IP address scheme should pull all devices on the network (in theory), but with this install, which happened three times, each with different results. Default password issues, network scheme problems, and finally assigning the right server address bugged out the network, which resulted in a hard reboot.
Perhaps it is my overzealous approach which brings up the question, if these software OS's kits are supposed to work right out of the box, why am I getting weird shit? I was in mad scramble trying to trace back strange behavior, software glitch issues with the home network, all with odd results that shouldn't happen.
I went back to the drawing board for a optimal aspect for home streaming to attached devices. In my third attempt I tried the CentOS option, but I am not holding out any hope here as open source of late has been a tad unreliable, and seriously buggy with zero day patch updates, hence the often retorted comment: perma-stage alpha tester.
CentOS was a complete waste. Two versions, one a 6.4 Release and the brand new 7.0 didn't end well. 6.4 I almost had installed until the kernel decided to do a 360 and wouldn't boot after installing a kdump partition for errors. Anything with Linux is notorious error's but nonetheless I trudged onwards. When 6.4 couldn't hang, I bounced to 7.0, and that was a complete fail. I didn't even get to the install section before problems occurred. So it was back to the drawing board.
After doing some research I proposed a hypothesis, and that only specific types of server OS'es could run on a small server without error. Unfortunately, I wasn't going to do anything with Ubuntu as my history with that distro was less than stellar, so it was decided to take another crack at the Windows server install. This time though I would take a different tact and figure out how to get it to work right. I end up trying Essentials, as its a no frills basic OS, with options for updatability if I so choose. Otherwise the process took less than a half hour. I was up and setting up the server.
My experience with this server will prove very useful for my future as I get acclimated to the next paradigm. As for Linux, as much I love it, I do not think it will ever have the dedicated desktop construction that other more prominent OS's have. It just does not work in the way it should, as people are constantly tweaking, revising, as there is this aura of a ever present alpha stage to a lot of it.
I cut my teeth on the Debian fork, not as prevalent now but going from that to Cygwin for minor programing aspects makes more sense at this stage. I am just tired of the bashing on all sides, if you like something then stick with what works, yes its true I was one of those haters, but now I see the other side, I see how each one can benefit. Its just a matter of personal taste.
Thanks for reading.
Monday, July 28, 2014
Living Colour - Stain (90's Era)
A punishing, deeply reflective third release. Vernon's guitar tone is angrier and much more experimental. The bass tone has a different vibe. As a listener its a record filled with disgust, sorrow, loneliness, paranoia and a sense of claustrophobia to the stereotypes and expectation of culture.
My first inclinations after first listen: is its an uncomfortable, confrontational, examination of culture in the United States in the early 90's. Many of the songs examine daily minutia of living with internal demons, and maneuvering around many broken social structures, sexual identity, mind-altering exposure, along with trying to come to terms with disappointment and anger at the status quo or apathetic attitudes.
The album punches the listener in the face with the first track Go Away. There is no way to turn back when Corey's belts out his proclamation: "I paid my $20 now go away". Economic status and social service with helping the less fortunate has this ominous "what did they do for me" mindset. Corey is yelling pretty clearly here that there is nativism going on, and it was a wake up to my then young ears. Its the perception of trying to do something beneficial which can become weighted in its own hubris. The very ethnic reality and the out of sight out of mind thinking speaks largely to the disconnect of humanity itself.
Corey's poetry is covered in a visceral palate of perpetual disgust, distrust, and disassociation as a direct result. There is no fitting into a corruptible industry which is hell bent on further exploitation, and these are interwoven themes with the alienation and stereotypes that have informed the social consciousness. Other songs evoke loss, experimenting with love, breaking down personal biases. There is more to uncover in the themes presented to the listener, this album was my window to a world spoken from this different perspective.
This opened up the reality of an ugliness of humanity, where I was keenly aware of hip-hop artists of the time, Ice-T, Boogie Down Productions, Public Enemy, and many others, this record was another side of the informative exposition in a different palate of colors in which exposing social class and its breakdown. The cover is provocative, using a piece of Replica Of Inquisition Period Headpiece by David Weeks, and Marty Sarandria conjures up two ugly eras of humanity.
Music wise its a different record. Newcomer Doug Wimbush takes over where Muzz Skillings once held the bass position, and he adds a new layering to Living Colour's sound. The punch is quick, jerky, pulsating, and rhythmic. Many of the songs are paintings of soul and groove.
Stain is painful. Stain is ugly. I believe this record was a venting of frustration, and it is one I come back to quite a bit. Thanks for reading.
B.
Shores Of Null - Quiescence
Thus far I like this record. Reminds me vocally of Alice In Chains with a twist of modern doom.
The record definitely has a doom vibe, but is evoking very familiar pastures.
Quiescence could fit anywhere in the Swedish style, or American style, it is that mutable.
The power that comes out of this album is melodic progression. There isn't a lot of blatant speed going forth, nor the obnoxious bravado, there seems to be a very calculated intent with this record.
This is my seventh unknown artist from Candlelight, and I'm pleasantly happy to continue to support this label. I await new frontiers of sound Shores of Null will bestow on me in the future, thanks for reading.
B.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Living Colour - Times Up (90s Era)
My story with this record more or less involved me going through a transitional phase. I was walking out of the radio friendly comforts, and delving deep in a wider pasture of cassette tapes and a (brand) walkman.
Piece by piece I would eventually purchase my own tapes, and while I had been accustomed to the pop construct, I was going in a very different area where sounds and attitude gave voice to my blossoming worldview.
Which brought me to a little under appreciated record that quietly came out late summer of 1990. This was my first entry for Living Colour. This was their second album the follow-up to Vivid.
Time's Up was an album filled stark contrasts. Little Richard (musical guest) being one of them (old school meets fresh school).
Yet then the album is lavished with co-existing with the growing hip-hop hardcore gangster rap scene (at that time). Rather than go in that direction (guest) Queen Latifah I think provides a foundation of common sense.
This record shares that urban existence and accepts it as an evolving mechanism. I felt that Time's Up was completely removed from a lot of that blatant bravado, and embraced more of conscientious social awareness in it's commentary, while still staying passionate, connected, and grounded.
While that was the surface element of the album, Time's Up showcased strength, understanding, acceptance, and was not afraid to poke fun of themselves for the sake of it.
The music sounds tight, and still feels modern, though it is closing in on 25 years, I still come back to and recall where I was, and seeing how much things haven't changed. There is still very divisive division, and the themes this record parlayed (then) are still relevant (today).
I've appreciated the albums sharp observation, truthful conviction, and humbled presentation. All of that would conclude with the next release Biscuits (1991), whereas Stain (1993), would be a shift in the bands overall tone, attitude, and inflection. Thanks for reading.
B
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Technology Tribulations: Job Recruiters
Job Recruiters - My take on them
In my travels, I have very intuitive responses to various outlets whom employ scam tactics in justifying a kind of sales pitch. In this case I'm talking about Job Recruiters. In the 90's I was young enough to remember when this was all the rage with certain states because major fortune 500 companies laid off large swaths of the American workforce. Downturn in the economy plus hiring outside consultants, i.e. to scale out any redundancy, pitted blue collar versus white collar.
When those folks were let go, it flooded a market that wasn't really prepared in taking on large out of work population, while also the influx of young graduates from high school (generation x) couldn't really gain traction forward. This is where a specific kind of prospect was created to fill a niche compartment in and around finding people work...or so they thought.
If one was so desperate they'd hire some yahoo to sell their image/brand to some company. Sometimes it worked, other times many, and I mean many people were duped into a false sense of promise.
Enter the 21st century and now these human pig smellies (Invader Zim) have taken to the internet, and lo-and-behold are everywhere. I am as skeptical as the next person, but I know when I see bullshit, and there is a lot of bullshit happening here.
My traction with Job Recruiters was intermittent, meeting with a few jerkoffs whom seem to think they know whats the best fit for my worth. I've been extremely suspect of someone who 'gets' me in the first five minutes after they talk to me.
No, the underlying criticism I have here is how in the world can this be a real and justifiable employment field? Not everyone fits in the same mold, skillset, or career objective i.e. each person is like a snow flake (thank you Lewis Black)
Having been spoken to in this manner that has this faux demeanor, with arbitrary corporate speak platitudes, a lot the spiel is totally and unequivocally condescending. Most of the what a job recruiter is selling you on is a promise that eventually fails, and falls through.
In the process you must jump through imaginary hoops these recruiters use. How do you know if you did well? What is the success ratio of employment retention? How is the reputation of the company they are trying to set me up with?
You know...the one main critical component a real person would utilize and that's called research. By using my critical analysis, and experience to gauge whether or not the situation warrants further inquiry. In a nutshell I don't like getting duped, and sucked into a situation.
They pad your ego to make you feel like your going to get the job, but in the end that dangling fish hook with promising dollar signs is taunted and then whisked away without any real concern to your mental health or well being.
I continue to have questions, yet these new breed of recruiters seem to be a missing one crucial aspect of the job search process: where is the real interview? It is a scam to build up people who are looking for work, who are struggling to find some real meaningful employment that doesn't rob them of a quality life.
Today's job recruiters are scam artists. They don't give a shit whether you succeed or not. Their sole purpose is to engage you, enrage you, lie to you, build you up then chop you down. That is my two cents on this subject.
B.
In my travels, I have very intuitive responses to various outlets whom employ scam tactics in justifying a kind of sales pitch. In this case I'm talking about Job Recruiters. In the 90's I was young enough to remember when this was all the rage with certain states because major fortune 500 companies laid off large swaths of the American workforce. Downturn in the economy plus hiring outside consultants, i.e. to scale out any redundancy, pitted blue collar versus white collar.
When those folks were let go, it flooded a market that wasn't really prepared in taking on large out of work population, while also the influx of young graduates from high school (generation x) couldn't really gain traction forward. This is where a specific kind of prospect was created to fill a niche compartment in and around finding people work...or so they thought.
If one was so desperate they'd hire some yahoo to sell their image/brand to some company. Sometimes it worked, other times many, and I mean many people were duped into a false sense of promise.
Enter the 21st century and now these human pig smellies (Invader Zim) have taken to the internet, and lo-and-behold are everywhere. I am as skeptical as the next person, but I know when I see bullshit, and there is a lot of bullshit happening here.
My traction with Job Recruiters was intermittent, meeting with a few jerkoffs whom seem to think they know whats the best fit for my worth. I've been extremely suspect of someone who 'gets' me in the first five minutes after they talk to me.
No, the underlying criticism I have here is how in the world can this be a real and justifiable employment field? Not everyone fits in the same mold, skillset, or career objective i.e. each person is like a snow flake (thank you Lewis Black)
Having been spoken to in this manner that has this faux demeanor, with arbitrary corporate speak platitudes, a lot the spiel is totally and unequivocally condescending. Most of the what a job recruiter is selling you on is a promise that eventually fails, and falls through.
In the process you must jump through imaginary hoops these recruiters use. How do you know if you did well? What is the success ratio of employment retention? How is the reputation of the company they are trying to set me up with?
You know...the one main critical component a real person would utilize and that's called research. By using my critical analysis, and experience to gauge whether or not the situation warrants further inquiry. In a nutshell I don't like getting duped, and sucked into a situation.
They pad your ego to make you feel like your going to get the job, but in the end that dangling fish hook with promising dollar signs is taunted and then whisked away without any real concern to your mental health or well being.
I continue to have questions, yet these new breed of recruiters seem to be a missing one crucial aspect of the job search process: where is the real interview? It is a scam to build up people who are looking for work, who are struggling to find some real meaningful employment that doesn't rob them of a quality life.
Today's job recruiters are scam artists. They don't give a shit whether you succeed or not. Their sole purpose is to engage you, enrage you, lie to you, build you up then chop you down. That is my two cents on this subject.
B.
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Type O Negative - Dead Again (2000's Era)
Dead Again, is a record that is lighter in texture, giving more of a vibrant viewpoint than the brash tongue in cheek Life Is Killing Me (2003) record.
There is an evolved element, while there is a organic vibe of the drums, as the keyboard components are mere touches adding subtle atmosphere. Both the guitar and bass add an accompanied somber finality for the band.
Like Rasputan whom from lore had many lives (if you read the myriad viewpoints), in a almost self inclusive joke the band used this as way to market Dead Again.
Dead Again is like a rebirth, a fresh kind of slate. A new record label, and a new found freedom (to some degree). Yet, underneath the surface felt uneasy, like rummaging through fresh memories stained by a passage of time.
Though TON always used heavier atmospheric pieces of "Beatlesque" tones, while also employing 70's long play song structure, it was Peter's lyrical gait which pulsated forth with Dead Again. Here he uses a completely different complexion rather than the dark tomes from prior work.
There is a loss that bludgeons the listener if they are aware of it. The realities of age, and the resolution of conquering personal addiction. A lot of it I think was because of their infrequent releases. TON didn't really fit into the American radio format, and because of that they existed in a vacuum almost inclusive to their own whim or whenever it was time to record something. The single September Sun (which was edited down to fit radio format of 4 minutes) is I think a direct result of this.
Since 1994 I've enjoyed watching this band evolve, watching and reading their many trials and tribulations along the way. Many of the personal and private frustrations were given a twisted sense of humor, yet there was always an honesty about how fucked up it is being in a rock band.
When Peter Steele passed away in 2010 it was punch to my reality in mortality. I was hopeful for another record, but like many fans Dead Again will be the final record from Type O Negative. Though the immediate ex-members still trudge on with Life Of Agony, A Pale Horse Named Death, and Seventh Void, the family is strong. Thanks for reading.
B.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
The Great Old Ones - Tekeli-Li
Les Acteurs de L’Ombre Productions
This is a record I wasn't quite ready or prepared to check out. It straddles upon what I've heard before, but I've to come around to it in a different aspect. Letting it play in the background and letting it settle.
Sure, there are songs I am definitely on the fence about it, yes the atmospheric pieces work, but most of the compositions work behind all the crunch and pulverizing scraping of the guitars and full on blast beat work. Jangly is how best to describe the guitars here.
Vocally its a miss for me because of the raspy screeches. I would have liked to have heard more variation. Though there are spoken pieces intermittent through Tekeli-Li, otherwise the music works in a ethereal vibe.
It is thick but also comfortable. There aren't a lot of areas to ply forth as this sound is common, yet the thing that I've come back to is the layering of texture, and emotive presence. Yet I worry about how much black metal has fallen into these trappings. I will admit this is fresh, but still hangs onto what is perceived. Perception can help or hinder, depends on mood.
I am glad there still is this abrasive aspect out there, but I kind of think that some fresh perspective can cure what ails. Great things ahead or more of the same, time will tell with this band.
Tekeli-Li isn't a bad record, but I am glad to know of The Great Old Ones, another France band that I seem to be drawing towards as of late. Thanks for reading.
B.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
GWAR and Me
I woke up like any other person getting ready for the day when I happened to read a strange tweet from Devin Townsend explaining Dave Brockie founding member and character personality Oderus Urungus passed away on Sunday March 23rd 2014 at the age of 50.
If I may say is to soon, but I get it in the harshest reality of being in a band where cash is often elusive, hence the often cliche term starving artist reaches forth and strangles health and prosperity before my eyes.
Being a long time fan (since the 90's) I've watched both the slide and evolution (if you will). The band and the revolving door of characters change and tried to compete with a disconnected...err out of touch music industry that seemed to be in at arms length way of marketing them.
It is really cool to see the DIY aspect of this band, though backed by a major label (which in this day is damn near unheard of), a lot the work was done behind the scenes.
I am at a loss as to the unfairness about the band, yet there is this uncomfortable reality which followed the band. Dave's over the top personality sometimes influenced indirectly that perception.
Yes its true us diehards liked them but it never translated into anything more than a kind of televised recognition. I find curious how the GWAR machine perpetuated this frenzy, but it didn't go very far even with fresh reboot (of sorts with Cory Smoot). Either way, GWAR was always that light of creative energy in what has become a bland and sterile industry unsure of itself.
Firstly, on a personal level I am gutted. Secondly, like the Type O Negative situation funding dictated whether or not I could participate, and third, Dave's death (I believe) leaves a big hole in the creative and theatrical arena. I am not trying to discount all the hard work that goes into a GWAR show, or what Lordi does, Green Jelly, Mushroohead, or Slipknot to name a few others.
Like those groups, what younger generation of performers is taking the mantel set by those bands? Dave put the strange in weird, that is my take on it. Even with all the of the band members towing the large carcass forth, GWAR feels empty now that he isn't part of that. The one thing I could always look forward to was his art, craft, his writings, and design.
I've never got to meet the man, but, we all know someone like Dave, whom can be extremely boisterous, obnoxious, over the top, unrelenting, fearless, and employs gobs of cock sureness that inspires or it infuriates. For me Dave's alter ego Oderus is that last stamp of a now fading 80's era of punk and thrash music scene.
Sure there are so many people whom shared wit with the man, yet from all the stories I've read from his RVAnews GWAR, Me, and the Onrushing Grip of Death web blog, his writing sealed an intimate, and personal inside look with my fandom of the band and his alter ego/character.
I will miss Dave and Oderus (whom are one and the same), I will look fondly upon his countless hours of video, interviews, and miserable writings he left all of us with. I don't believe I will mourn his passing because he celebrated it every day by owning it, torturing it, and kicking its ass.
His creativity will always be part of my rough side. I am still stunned by his passing, but I accept it because there is no sorrow, just joy, and ample amount of passionate compassion that is missing in a indifferent extreme music scene unsure of where it wants to go.
Thank you for all the great music, wisdom, trash, and verbal diarrhea. The world is going to miss your slice of perspective. I already do. Thanks for reading.
B.
If I may say is to soon, but I get it in the harshest reality of being in a band where cash is often elusive, hence the often cliche term starving artist reaches forth and strangles health and prosperity before my eyes.
Being a long time fan (since the 90's) I've watched both the slide and evolution (if you will). The band and the revolving door of characters change and tried to compete with a disconnected...err out of touch music industry that seemed to be in at arms length way of marketing them.
It is really cool to see the DIY aspect of this band, though backed by a major label (which in this day is damn near unheard of), a lot the work was done behind the scenes.
I am at a loss as to the unfairness about the band, yet there is this uncomfortable reality which followed the band. Dave's over the top personality sometimes influenced indirectly that perception.
Yes its true us diehards liked them but it never translated into anything more than a kind of televised recognition. I find curious how the GWAR machine perpetuated this frenzy, but it didn't go very far even with fresh reboot (of sorts with Cory Smoot). Either way, GWAR was always that light of creative energy in what has become a bland and sterile industry unsure of itself.
Firstly, on a personal level I am gutted. Secondly, like the Type O Negative situation funding dictated whether or not I could participate, and third, Dave's death (I believe) leaves a big hole in the creative and theatrical arena. I am not trying to discount all the hard work that goes into a GWAR show, or what Lordi does, Green Jelly, Mushroohead, or Slipknot to name a few others.
Like those groups, what younger generation of performers is taking the mantel set by those bands? Dave put the strange in weird, that is my take on it. Even with all the of the band members towing the large carcass forth, GWAR feels empty now that he isn't part of that. The one thing I could always look forward to was his art, craft, his writings, and design.
I've never got to meet the man, but, we all know someone like Dave, whom can be extremely boisterous, obnoxious, over the top, unrelenting, fearless, and employs gobs of cock sureness that inspires or it infuriates. For me Dave's alter ego Oderus is that last stamp of a now fading 80's era of punk and thrash music scene.
Sure there are so many people whom shared wit with the man, yet from all the stories I've read from his RVAnews GWAR, Me, and the Onrushing Grip of Death web blog, his writing sealed an intimate, and personal inside look with my fandom of the band and his alter ego/character.
I will miss Dave and Oderus (whom are one and the same), I will look fondly upon his countless hours of video, interviews, and miserable writings he left all of us with. I don't believe I will mourn his passing because he celebrated it every day by owning it, torturing it, and kicking its ass.
His creativity will always be part of my rough side. I am still stunned by his passing, but I accept it because there is no sorrow, just joy, and ample amount of passionate compassion that is missing in a indifferent extreme music scene unsure of where it wants to go.
Thank you for all the great music, wisdom, trash, and verbal diarrhea. The world is going to miss your slice of perspective. I already do. Thanks for reading.
B.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Immolation - Unholy Cult (2000's Era)
Unholy Cult was my first introduction by a Yonkers New York area band named Immolation.
I was completely taken by surprise in the harmonic dissonances of the first track Of Martyrs, and Men.
What followed afterward was nothing I was prepared for. It was an auditory onslaught, pummeling my earlobes whilst never letting up. In years since my introduction (2003) this record has stuck with me.
The message throughout the record evokes a very sad and troubled observation. Part of it relies in a martyred shift of humanities decision about personal choice, which derives more from manipulation, and control (something of a concurrent theme with many of their releases).
There are anti-religious aspects which paint a very negative light to it's ritualism (though it is very much on the surface), but what is underneath is screaming for an untethered freedom to individualism that is unmet due in large part by corrupted institutionalism.
The musicianship is fantastic, which reminds of a lot of spastic jazz, just done with heavy distortion, and effect. If there is one key thing I've enjoyed about this record is the drumming of Alex Hernandez.
He is spastic, powerful, whilst completely changing tempo on whim, while having a slight variation pushed this outside of what I was accustomed to. Some of the songs tend to drift lengthwise but I think that is what cements their style outside of the more modern death metal. Unholy Cult is still one of my personal favorites from the band. Thanks for reading.
B.
Friday, February 21, 2014
Green Jellö - Cereal Killer Soundtrack (90's Era)
Green Jellö - The Cereal Killer Soundtrack March 5th, 1993 Zoo Entertainment
Green Jellö was odd. I was aware of GWAR and the silliness that band used, but Green Jellö were something completely different. At that time I hadn't quite mastered or understood what Arthouse meant, because when I was starting out in the music world so many flavors, points of view, cultural attitudes, and vibes were clamoring for my attention (as it were).
My exposure was via MTV and Headbangers Ball hosted then by Ricki Rachtman with the video Three Little Pigs. I would later learn via a personal acquaintance Green Jellö had put out a music video of the songs which would eventually be released on CD, LP, and Cassette. The whole thing was played in a avante garde theater, with a dusting of kabuki for dramatic flair.
Some of the material is very crude, over the top, extremely amateur, and very much silly, but the context is extremely blatant if one is paying close attention. Sometimes it can be a bit of a blunt force trauma, but I think it works on the social construction and stigma during that period.
It is my personal opinion that this work straddles a kind of rough, extreme low budget stratus, but the message I feel is always front and center.
This was their first official record release by a major label, whereas I will count this to be their third release as they were doing this form since the early 80's.
I think Green Jellö play to the familiarity with catchy 70ish riffs, and a sprinkling of a few original numbers. Yes the songs are plain ridiculous, songtitles like The Misadventures of Shitman, or House Me Teenage Rave to name a couple.
Nothing about The Cereal Killer Soundtrack push any new areas, only that this record came out during a period of change, and I think they hit it hard considering. Yet I've wondered if they really ever got over the hump.
Any success they did have was short lived because of a lawsuit or trademark infringement, something I haven't been clear on with the details, as what is out there is sketchy.
What happened to the band was a forced name change from Green Jellö to Green Jellÿ, and I feel they never recuperated from this setback.
If you want to see something pretty strange, from a time that is now twenty plus years, I highly encourage you to invest a little time and check out their Youtube channel. Thanks for reading.
B.
Mötley Crüe - Mötley Crüe (90's Era)
Mötley Crüe - Mötley Crüe March 15th 1994
Seeing that Mötley Crüe is going to hang it up after thirty plus years, I figured on talking about one record that I think stands out from the entire career of the band.
On March 15th 1994, I picked up Mötley Crüe self titled not knowing what was in store. Since I was very aware of the publicized falling out of the band's first singer Vince Neil, and his solo record Exposed, this was going to either work or completely fail.
First impressions was holy shit (besides the obvious), the monster heavy guitar tone, and groovier drums. The mixing, and the production of this record hit me at the right time. Coming out of the darkness (if I can call it that), this album solidified what rock was before it cratered into obscurity in the years since.
Every song on this album I've listened to a few hundred times. I believe has a flow, with a few minor annoyances with the obligatory 'ballads', I feel this record really did come out and surprised me.
Because the record was different, but in adding another dimension of another guitar player (Corabi). If there was one aspect I missed out on it was the Quaternary EP. I didn't have enough to cover the cost.
Otherwise, I prefer this record because (as with my Fight post) this is a fresh experience that doesn't spoil or induce the baggage of prior knowledge. Though members Mick Mars, Tommy Lee, and Nikki Sixx are still present, infusing John Corabi pushes them into having copious amounts of attitude.
The record was hated by almost everyone, partly because of the change of the times (alternative, and grunge). Mötley Crüe tried something different, with a kind of honesty, and truth that ended up being tossed aside for Vince Neil's return. Lastly, I really do despise Bob Rock at this stage, but he really did make a special pocket of time that I still listen to today.
Though I admit I stopped listening to this record a year after, kind of putting it on the shelf as it were, in recent years I've come back to, and I'm pleasantly happy that it still holds up. For what its worth, I love the hell out of the bluesy crunch this record has. Damn cool. Thanks for reading.
B.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Skatenigs - Stupid People Shouldn't Breed (90's Era)
Skatenigs Stupid People Shouldn't Breed
Skatenigs is a group that aptly covers the road map set forth by both Revolting Cocks (RevCo) and Ministry. Sure Skatenigs is very much in line with the feel or composition of both mentioned bands but the material never connected with me in large part because of the alternative spokes, with which at that time annoyed me. I don't hate alternative I just felt that it was being usurped for wider recognition with bands of that period, and I was very much evolving away from that area.
A lot of it I felt was in how obvious the group copied what was already done, yet it wasn't until much later that I began to understand why I didn't receive the material well. I had a real hard time connecting with the record Stupid People Shouldn't Breed as it felt more like a inclusive joke, covering a gigantic ego, exposing a stilted sense of disposable attitude, and being extremely pompous.
There is groove which harkens back to the disco era, but tends to meander a lot. Either I felt it was underdeveloped, or haphazardly put together due to time constraints. In a lot of ways this record made me feel awkward, and stilted.
Having re-acclimated myself to this record I still feel the same as I did then about its message or lack thereof, but the main component I will say here is there are a few decent songs, apt groove, and faux electronic drum beats, but as a whole seemed uncomfortable to get through. Thanks for reading.
B.
Portal - Vexxovoid
Portal - Vexovoid (Bandcamp)
This was a very strange experience for me. Portal is a band I have no knowledge about. Vexovoid is a record that pummels every sense in expectation, and perceived direction of familiarity.
What is known or understood about compaction of texture and composition is completely redirected into a mashed listening experience.
I have never heard something this dense that it takes a few listens to uncover bits and pieces of the work.
I am acutely aware of the direction extreme music needs to go, and while I do agree with the notion of challenging outside perceptions Portal pretty much covers this in large doses. Some may not agree, yet there is something very different in approach, and execution to what I've experienced here.
If there is one gripe I have it is this: the songs do blur into each other, there are intermittent variations of notes that string together with a kind of thematic overture, but there is a few areas that I think challenge the perception of design and execution. A lot this record is mangled, twisted, and heavy on distortion, which is expected from the listener to carve out their own understanding.
If I were to pick a single instrument to follow it would be the guitar because of the tonality shifts, and the near pulsation that weaves the songs into peaks and valleys.
Interesting listen if nothing else. Thanks for reading.
B.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Video Games & Me Pt. 3
Video Games & Me Pt. 3
I will let you in on a secret, I have never purchased the Playstation 3. It was a gift I received, only in that it would it be used for long distance communication and playing games (to a certain degree). This wasn't used for that aspect, and now sits as a online video streaming box, an optical disc reader, and part time casual digital game machine.
I was impressed with how powerful the Cell processor is, though the system was hamstrung with onboard memory, the idea that this system could be used as a Linux box held strong interest to me. But the cost and the eventual removal of the that option began specific questioning from me about Sony's purpose and practice with open source software.
Being in throes of new technology I went nuts with digital because at that time I felt that why have anything specific with hardcopy due in large of part disc scratching, and sometimes stolen material etc. Though I invested a few hundred dollars into what I felt was the right decision yet later on there were fractures in trusting the entity known as Sony, and finding out much later in how draconian DRM (Digital Rights Management) is with their consoles with regards to media, games, and streaming music in general sense began to irk me.
I had missed out on the first few generations of the PS3 because I couldn't afford the outlandish price, and the lack of backward compatibility with PS2 games. The explanation was because of the code base from the developer side as some titles wouldn't work correctly. Some PSOne titles worked but when Sony announced they were porting many titles to the PSN store, this was an option to take full advantage of.
Using the online format I'd download classic old school game called Q-Bert which is no longer available. TOMBA!, Elephunk, Swarm, Legend of Han Tao (port from Xbox Live), Blade Kitten, Critter Crunch, Earthworm Jim, Jak & Dexter, inFamous, and others.
Something definitely wasn't quite right with digital games. There was always this disconnection of marketing between the two. Sure there were the popular games like Flower, Little Big Planet, Wheelman, and a few others, yet I felt as if smaller named titles were mired and forgotten because of preferred title favoritism.
I also feel Sony failed miserably with the roll out of Playstation@Home application because it was terribly buggy. The console itself would lock up or freeze depending on the network traffic and who was connected.
Which brings me to Spring 2011 and Sony's PSN was attacked by a consortium of hardware hackers through a reverse cracking of the Playstation 3 network algorithm. Since I work around software and hardware technology I was curious.
The details which trickled out showcased how easy it was to break encryption of a console, and this information was placed online for anyone curious enough to patch or exploit. Sony got wind of this and did everything they could to stop the leak. They didn't go in the route of thanking the group but instead attacked the user base who cracked the code as it were. Which in turn resulted in the nastiest and subsequent back and forth with the group until Sony's PSN was compromised.
For two weeks Sony said nothing. Their P.R. and marketing team kept a very tight lid on the corrupted system. How I was made aware was via third party channels, and took steps to fix it. I also learned that anything connected to the PSN is connected via Amazon's cloud service (servers) as is Netflix and others. I took a big step back and recalculated my stance as is it were on consoles, computer, and smartphone technologies.
On the consumer side there are some very frank and disturbing trends, most of which relates to the need to be wound tight by DRM, and that these companies do not trust the user in any capacity. It is about feeding into a always connected aspect with a need to relinquish a little bit of privacy and comfort.
I feel with Sony's complete disregard to its built in user base has soured my continued interest in the console arena. I am convinced that these companies do not have its users information secured, or interested securing any of that data.
I get it...it is a business and money overrules reason and common sense. It is sad that we all are guilty of the dependance upon distant apparatuses for our entertainment, and leisure activity. It is my hope that people are realizing this and are taking steps to not feed into the hyperbolic nonsense these companies are using. But then again we are also unkindly stuck in a machine that either forces us to play into the macabre, or be the outsider.
B.
I will let you in on a secret, I have never purchased the Playstation 3. It was a gift I received, only in that it would it be used for long distance communication and playing games (to a certain degree). This wasn't used for that aspect, and now sits as a online video streaming box, an optical disc reader, and part time casual digital game machine.
I was impressed with how powerful the Cell processor is, though the system was hamstrung with onboard memory, the idea that this system could be used as a Linux box held strong interest to me. But the cost and the eventual removal of the that option began specific questioning from me about Sony's purpose and practice with open source software.
Being in throes of new technology I went nuts with digital because at that time I felt that why have anything specific with hardcopy due in large of part disc scratching, and sometimes stolen material etc. Though I invested a few hundred dollars into what I felt was the right decision yet later on there were fractures in trusting the entity known as Sony, and finding out much later in how draconian DRM (Digital Rights Management) is with their consoles with regards to media, games, and streaming music in general sense began to irk me.
I had missed out on the first few generations of the PS3 because I couldn't afford the outlandish price, and the lack of backward compatibility with PS2 games. The explanation was because of the code base from the developer side as some titles wouldn't work correctly. Some PSOne titles worked but when Sony announced they were porting many titles to the PSN store, this was an option to take full advantage of.
Using the online format I'd download classic old school game called Q-Bert which is no longer available. TOMBA!, Elephunk, Swarm, Legend of Han Tao (port from Xbox Live), Blade Kitten, Critter Crunch, Earthworm Jim, Jak & Dexter, inFamous, and others.
Something definitely wasn't quite right with digital games. There was always this disconnection of marketing between the two. Sure there were the popular games like Flower, Little Big Planet, Wheelman, and a few others, yet I felt as if smaller named titles were mired and forgotten because of preferred title favoritism.
I also feel Sony failed miserably with the roll out of Playstation@Home application because it was terribly buggy. The console itself would lock up or freeze depending on the network traffic and who was connected.
Which brings me to Spring 2011 and Sony's PSN was attacked by a consortium of hardware hackers through a reverse cracking of the Playstation 3 network algorithm. Since I work around software and hardware technology I was curious.
The details which trickled out showcased how easy it was to break encryption of a console, and this information was placed online for anyone curious enough to patch or exploit. Sony got wind of this and did everything they could to stop the leak. They didn't go in the route of thanking the group but instead attacked the user base who cracked the code as it were. Which in turn resulted in the nastiest and subsequent back and forth with the group until Sony's PSN was compromised.
For two weeks Sony said nothing. Their P.R. and marketing team kept a very tight lid on the corrupted system. How I was made aware was via third party channels, and took steps to fix it. I also learned that anything connected to the PSN is connected via Amazon's cloud service (servers) as is Netflix and others. I took a big step back and recalculated my stance as is it were on consoles, computer, and smartphone technologies.
On the consumer side there are some very frank and disturbing trends, most of which relates to the need to be wound tight by DRM, and that these companies do not trust the user in any capacity. It is about feeding into a always connected aspect with a need to relinquish a little bit of privacy and comfort.
I feel with Sony's complete disregard to its built in user base has soured my continued interest in the console arena. I am convinced that these companies do not have its users information secured, or interested securing any of that data.
I get it...it is a business and money overrules reason and common sense. It is sad that we all are guilty of the dependance upon distant apparatuses for our entertainment, and leisure activity. It is my hope that people are realizing this and are taking steps to not feed into the hyperbolic nonsense these companies are using. But then again we are also unkindly stuck in a machine that either forces us to play into the macabre, or be the outsider.
B.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Video Games & Me Pt. 2
Video Games & Me Pt. 2
Jersey Devil was my first game with the Playstation console. I had worked real hard with the demo, and though I thought it was okay, this seems simple enough, and before long I was knee deep in a platformer designed by a Montreal studio called Behavior Interactive. A cartoony game which has hallmarks to the caped crusader Batman but in a more comical/horror aspect.
After playing and beating the game, something very profound occurred to me, I achieved something in my life that didn't require a lot of bickering, bitching, or fighting. There were goals, dialog, and a kind of direction that gave concrete purpose and point to what I was doing with my time. I was hooked from then on.
Others that I would try: Crash Bandicoot, which annoyed me, Tomba! showed great promise but was very difficult to get stateside. Twisted Metal lost a lot of interest fairly quickly. Intelligent Qube had a very strange design to it I don't know why I never got into the game for the sake of irritation. Pac-Man World pretty much a platformer in style but had a retro feel. Soul Reaver: Legacy Of Kain for all intensive purposes I didn't quite get the aesthetics, I tried many times figuring out various tricks or things to do, but ultimately fell flat for me.
MediEvil a wickedly funny and twisted game in the vein of The Nightmare Before Christmas design wise there are some quirky elements but it works. Warcraft II: The Dark Saga my first real taste of a RTS (Real Time Strategy) but for whatever the reason the game would always find a way to kill my setup, so I went on a search or had heard about cheats for 'God' mode. Finally all three of the Spyro games. Spyro The Dragon, Spyro 2: Riptor's Rage, and Spyro Year Of The Dragon I liked that Stuart Copeland of The Police composed the music, and what would be my eventual liking of Insomniac Games over the duration of the Sony console evolution.
I would watch my roommate get into Final Fantasy VII, Wild Arms, Wild Arms 2, Colony Wars, Armored Core, Armored Core: Project Phantasma, Blasto, Breath Of Fire III, Wing Commander, Command & Conquer, Command & Conquer: Red Alert, Grandia, Chrono Cross, One, Legend of Dragoon, Legend of Legaia, Metal Gear Solid, Star Wars: Dark Forces, Warzone 2100, and Vagrant Story.
When the Playstation 2 arrived in 2000, my old roommate was all giddy with the possibilities. Yet he often would stick with titles of the JRPG flair hence: Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy X-2, Ace Combat 5, Ace Combat Zero, Armored Core 2, Front Mission 5, Legaia 2, Zone Of The Enders, Wild Arms 3, and Wild Arms: Alter Code F.
When I was able to get my own Playstation 2 console I went nuts. I had played the demos for Sly Cooper, which was a different experience in itself. Hiding for the sake of moving the game along, to me was pretty novel. I would eventually get Sly 2: Band Of Thieves, and Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves. The thing with the Sly was they were pretty tough to beat, it would take a full ten years before I could really sink my teeth into the games themselves. I say it was totally worth it.
Then I found Ratchet & Clank. I wasn't quite sure what to make of the style, but I love Sci-Fi aspects, and having a futuristic vibe really sold me on it. This was my second series with Insomniac Games, and I would play and beat mightily Ratchet & Clank, Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando, and Ratchet & Clank Up Your Arsenal. I liked how each game evolved on the premise of as you played your weaponry evolved. I would try out Ratchet: Deadlocked yet I didn't particularly care for the confined and first person style.
I ended up borrowing a copy of Jak & Dexter: The Precursor Legacy and let me say this it is the most infuriating game I have ever played. While I did successfully beat the damn thing in 2012, the main irritation and concept remained, Naughty Dog Studios makes some very peculiar games.
I would read about various games from Playstation Magazine when I could find a copy via the local library, and Dr. Muto (released by now defunct Midway) was one that I wanted to check out but didn't get a chance to until 2006. I would try for myself the JRPG with Wild Arms 5, to be honest it bored me. I never finished it, to this day I don't really mind. I would check out Tak and the Power Of Juju which at first was cool but lost luster do to the annoying dialog, and controller issues. I would try again with the JRPG in early 2007 with a game called Rogue Galaxy, now this was a game I could play, I beat it and went after all the little lose ends, overall cool vibe, could have been better but, I wasn't familiar with Level 5 so this provided me a jumping off point as it were.
With my experiences with these two consoles, and the games I played they are very much part of my journey. In my opinion many players don't really care about whether they remember the experiences they have, for me this was as much of a connection as it was being part of something with regards to console generation. I couldn't play every game that came out, as it is near impossible, yet, I personally believe if you know your voice, and the games you play then they will find you.
When the Playstation 3 came out, I was pushed way outside of the price, and that in itself was a sign of things to come.
B.
Jersey Devil was my first game with the Playstation console. I had worked real hard with the demo, and though I thought it was okay, this seems simple enough, and before long I was knee deep in a platformer designed by a Montreal studio called Behavior Interactive. A cartoony game which has hallmarks to the caped crusader Batman but in a more comical/horror aspect.
After playing and beating the game, something very profound occurred to me, I achieved something in my life that didn't require a lot of bickering, bitching, or fighting. There were goals, dialog, and a kind of direction that gave concrete purpose and point to what I was doing with my time. I was hooked from then on.
Others that I would try: Crash Bandicoot, which annoyed me, Tomba! showed great promise but was very difficult to get stateside. Twisted Metal lost a lot of interest fairly quickly. Intelligent Qube had a very strange design to it I don't know why I never got into the game for the sake of irritation. Pac-Man World pretty much a platformer in style but had a retro feel. Soul Reaver: Legacy Of Kain for all intensive purposes I didn't quite get the aesthetics, I tried many times figuring out various tricks or things to do, but ultimately fell flat for me.
MediEvil a wickedly funny and twisted game in the vein of The Nightmare Before Christmas design wise there are some quirky elements but it works. Warcraft II: The Dark Saga my first real taste of a RTS (Real Time Strategy) but for whatever the reason the game would always find a way to kill my setup, so I went on a search or had heard about cheats for 'God' mode. Finally all three of the Spyro games. Spyro The Dragon, Spyro 2: Riptor's Rage, and Spyro Year Of The Dragon I liked that Stuart Copeland of The Police composed the music, and what would be my eventual liking of Insomniac Games over the duration of the Sony console evolution.
I would watch my roommate get into Final Fantasy VII, Wild Arms, Wild Arms 2, Colony Wars, Armored Core, Armored Core: Project Phantasma, Blasto, Breath Of Fire III, Wing Commander, Command & Conquer, Command & Conquer: Red Alert, Grandia, Chrono Cross, One, Legend of Dragoon, Legend of Legaia, Metal Gear Solid, Star Wars: Dark Forces, Warzone 2100, and Vagrant Story.
When the Playstation 2 arrived in 2000, my old roommate was all giddy with the possibilities. Yet he often would stick with titles of the JRPG flair hence: Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy X-2, Ace Combat 5, Ace Combat Zero, Armored Core 2, Front Mission 5, Legaia 2, Zone Of The Enders, Wild Arms 3, and Wild Arms: Alter Code F.
When I was able to get my own Playstation 2 console I went nuts. I had played the demos for Sly Cooper, which was a different experience in itself. Hiding for the sake of moving the game along, to me was pretty novel. I would eventually get Sly 2: Band Of Thieves, and Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves. The thing with the Sly was they were pretty tough to beat, it would take a full ten years before I could really sink my teeth into the games themselves. I say it was totally worth it.
Then I found Ratchet & Clank. I wasn't quite sure what to make of the style, but I love Sci-Fi aspects, and having a futuristic vibe really sold me on it. This was my second series with Insomniac Games, and I would play and beat mightily Ratchet & Clank, Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando, and Ratchet & Clank Up Your Arsenal. I liked how each game evolved on the premise of as you played your weaponry evolved. I would try out Ratchet: Deadlocked yet I didn't particularly care for the confined and first person style.
I ended up borrowing a copy of Jak & Dexter: The Precursor Legacy and let me say this it is the most infuriating game I have ever played. While I did successfully beat the damn thing in 2012, the main irritation and concept remained, Naughty Dog Studios makes some very peculiar games.
I would read about various games from Playstation Magazine when I could find a copy via the local library, and Dr. Muto (released by now defunct Midway) was one that I wanted to check out but didn't get a chance to until 2006. I would try for myself the JRPG with Wild Arms 5, to be honest it bored me. I never finished it, to this day I don't really mind. I would check out Tak and the Power Of Juju which at first was cool but lost luster do to the annoying dialog, and controller issues. I would try again with the JRPG in early 2007 with a game called Rogue Galaxy, now this was a game I could play, I beat it and went after all the little lose ends, overall cool vibe, could have been better but, I wasn't familiar with Level 5 so this provided me a jumping off point as it were.
With my experiences with these two consoles, and the games I played they are very much part of my journey. In my opinion many players don't really care about whether they remember the experiences they have, for me this was as much of a connection as it was being part of something with regards to console generation. I couldn't play every game that came out, as it is near impossible, yet, I personally believe if you know your voice, and the games you play then they will find you.
When the Playstation 3 came out, I was pushed way outside of the price, and that in itself was a sign of things to come.
B.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)